Here's a transcription of some of her dialog that I found particularly hilarious.
Exhibit A (season 1):
If I were a spider... I would have no penis. So I would have to press against my genital opening to collect sperms with my hand-like appendages - the palpae. I would approach the female very, very carefully. She is very, very big! And very, very aggressive. If I shake the web, she might think she caught a fly and eat me. When I'm close enough, I WOULD DIG MY PALPAE IN HER EPIGI AND RUN OFF!
Exhibit B (season 2):
Why vagina? Eggs are precious. Sperm are cheap. Sperm come by the millions, but not eggs. I might have 400 eggs. If I were a female, any female, I would want to protect my precious eggs. I would want to hide them in a hole, and I would want that hole to be in a place hard to reach... unless I want you to reach me.
Penises. Different penises. All trying to get as close as possible to my eggs. But. I would have a tunnel, and it would be a labyrinth, it would be intricate, it would be unique. It would be species-specific, so that I am not screwed by a bear. Penises. Species-specific. Each one unique to their respective vaginas. A cosy fit, like a hand in a glove. That's why I want my vagina.
And then there is the quiz - which lacks in graphic quality what the short films have in abundance, but the language is equally hilarious. I apparently have the Midas Touch.
Everything you touch turns to gold, and it kind of creeps us out. You're completely calculating, but then, you also have a good heart, and are a really nice person. We'd judge, but you keep using your powers for good, not evil, and that's totally charming and sweet. Awww, look at you.
You're so bloody nice. It's like, we could curl up on your lap and feel safe, and drink cocoa and solve the world's problems through cuddling.That's your superpower: cuddles.

1 comment:
it seems your site doesn't support feeds. no atom, no rss... so sad.
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